How Do You Know You’re Ready To Be a Dad?

When I knew I wanted to be a dad.

I don't intend to be controversial and I certainly hope I don't upset my wife by writing this, I really only want to be honest in the hope that it will create conversation and normalise men's feelings.

There was a very distinct moment when I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I wanted to be a dad. And I really wanted to be a dad. It was a glass shattering moment for me, I had always until that point thought that the world was far too brutal a place to bring up a kid. The sort of genuine concern that ways gets laughed at when conveyed.

The moment happened after miscarriage. As with a lot of critical decisions in my life thus far, it took an earth shattering event to realise something I clearly already knew: wouldn't it be wonderful to have a child, to be called daddy. To be clear, I was very happy to be going through the process of trying for a child, something that had been happening for 2 years prior to the glass shattering moment. It's just that, I was happy to relax into it, see what life threw in my direction. This all changed when faced with indescribable grief, the physical and emotional pain the love of my life was forced to go through.

Looking back, I can see how frustrating that must have been for my wife. She consistently put all the effort in, booking the appointments, getting us both checked and eventually going through multiple cycles and countless invasive procedures when all along, I was the reason for it and I was trying to take a more relaxed approach. I regret my actions and it's only with hindsight that I can try to understand what harm I caused. Thank goodness for my wife. Without her pulling me through it all, we wouldn't have the little boy of our dreams and another on the way. I love being Daddy.